1) “$117.70 for two drinks?! Sure. Take my card. Would you like the soul of my first-born, too?”
2) SLOW WALKERS. SLOW WALKERS. SLOW WALKERS.
3) Being held up on the MTR escalator by 500 candy crush enthusiasts
4) Running the risk of having your eyeball skewered by someone’s umbrella every time it rains
5) People assuming everyone on the Island is loaded
6) People assuming everyone in Kowloon is poor
7) Being handed a surgery mask when you have a cold at work and feeling like you should be in quarantine
8) Getting a nod of approval about your chopstick skills by a local and finally feeling like an accomplished human being
9) Yes, it is perfectly legal to get drunk on the street
10) Avoiding wet markets in fear of seeing another decapitated frog
11) .. Also, people carrying home live fish in carrier bags is a perfectly normal phenomenon
12) Ordering so much at dim sum that you turn into a human dumpling
13) Promising yourself that you WILL hike Dragon’s Back this weekend then waking up at 12pm on a Saturday afternoon instead
14) The Peak at the weekend. Just, don’t do it.
15) Living in a shoebox sized apartment
16) Home cooking?? What even is that?
17) Being flabbergasted by the extortionate prices in M&S
18) … and living for 6pm M&S reductions. BEST THING EVER.
19) Never being more than 30 meters from a 7/11 or a McDonald’s
20) Being offered help with carrying your suitcase up the MTR stairs and thanking that person as though they were Jesus Christ himself
21) Having to adjust to a meter long wet room with a shower head above your toilet never actually gets better *shudders*
22) DOGS WEARING SHOES.
23) Also, people spraying water after their dog has peed. Just… WHUT?!?
24) Seeing sofas, fridges, and the contents of someone’s first home casually dumped on the street
25) PRAISE THE LAWD FOR UNLIMITED CHINA MOBILE DATA.
26)… and hot-spotting your phone instead of paying for wifi. Gotta save them pennies.
27) Fearing that you will never complete your HK bucket list because THERE. IS. SO. MUCH. TO. DO.
28) Falling in love with Lamma island and contemplating if you could be bothered with getting a boat to work everyday so that you can live there
29) Snapchatting your friends whilst you chill on the beach just to remind everyone of how great your life is
30) Consulting Sassy HK for pretty much everything
31) Triple checking every Chinese beauty product for skin whitener. Yikes.
32) Market vendors in the Ladies’ Market will quarter their price within 0.0005 seconds of you walking away
33) Strolling through pet street and wondering if you are responsible enough for a pet turtle
34) People saying “MMM-GOI” and having no idea if they mean “thanks”, “excuse me” or “MOVE OUT OF THE WAY”
35) Seeing the views from the star ferry at night and falling in love with HK all over again